Sunday, December 18, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Enough tears shed- Fight Violence, in your own way .
Women have been my muse for several of my works, these very women have suffered injustice over the ages. I have expressed my views on ways in which justice may be brought about.
They are typified, objectified, stereotyped and suppressed in most cultures around the world. Women's suffrage in the modern world was granted earliest in 1881 and is yet to be granted in extremist countries like Saudi Arabia and Vatican City.
Who shall we put the blame upon?
Man? The misogynistic, chauvinistic and hypocritical prude? After all, it is he who is responsible for disgracing the very gender that gives him life. He who rapes and abuses her.
As easy as it is to put the blame on the big bad wolf, blame games seldom help in bringing about a change. Gandhi preached standing up against injustice, to allow oneself to be oppressed is a greater crime than oppression itself. It's easy to be a victim of society's brutality and atrocity. Courage however is needed to break free. Men need to be sensitized; more importantly though the women need to stand up, raise their voice and hold their ground.
Having said that, Woman having been beaten black and blue, physically as well as emotionally, reflect these very colours on their metaphoric palette. Men can change this, by painting vibrant hues of vermilion, yellows, and pinks on their canvases.
Charity begins at home . My experiences have shown me , that we as individuals are big time hypocrites when it comes to bringing about a change in practice. All parents are liberal about LGBT rights , issues etc but if their daughter/son announces that she/he is Queer , then suddenly , it becomes a crime , all liberalness disappears . Same with the issues concerning women , put one step out of line , and there goes the “Gender Equality”. Argue and be silenced by a slap! Why is the “line of control “ drawn a few inches closer for women than for men?
The following incident, hopefully, shows some light on this very issue. A friend of mine who happens to be the son of an IAS Officer witnessed the scene of a man beating his wife black and blue ( an Indian Foreign Services officer at that). Moreover his poor mother , in an attempt to protect her daughter-in-law, was pushed and thrown on the floor. My friend, called me later that day to narrate the incident as he saw it , I asked him to do a simple thing - ring the bell ( ghanti bajao ). And yes , the next day , when a similar thing happened , it worked . The bell stopped the violence. And even though it was I who suggested ringing a bell at the time, I don’t consider it as a permanent or the best solution .
Ringing the bell made the man aware of people listening and watching him commit these acts. It didn’t make him realise that the acts are wrong , only that society is watching him, judging him.
So what do we do? How do we protect women?
The question “how do we protect women ?” is the bigger problem .
A better question, wherein lies the answer is, “How do women protect themselves ? “
Women need to be empowered. In every way , only then can they stand up for themselves . Unless you respect yourself , you cannot expect others to respect you .
As far as urban areas go , an attitude and the right body language can speak volumes. Women , especially working women capable of supporting themselves , need to let their men know. “Respect me as much as I respect you or simply FORGET IT”.
As far as rural women go , financial support is an issue , not because they don’t work , but because they don’t respect themselves enough to consider their work -labour- as work .
Moreover, a mafia of sorts can work wonders , women looking out for each other . No matter how bad the conditions in rural India , a large group ( like Bollywood dances ) works wonders . Urban societies can have a similar arrangement .
One of the major obstacles in the working of such a group is not its effectiveness or formation. The problem is that most women hold their personal and family lives very close to their heart , and would rather suffer than speak out about domestic violence (brining us back to the need for self-respect) .
To arm oneself is equally important. Kick-boxing , karate , kung-fu, pepper sprays are essential not only to protect oneself from domestic violence, but also from dangerous strangers/stalkers/attackers etc .
A rolling pin ( “belan” ) is more than sufficient to disfigure a man’s features, facial and otherwise( other utensils work the same ) .
The solution , is not in the weapon, but in the attitude .
Just like with paintings , there are plenty of tools. I work with one , another works with the other. What matters is the expression. The song sung by a baritone or a nightingale is sweet, when the melody strikes a chord :P , when the words make sense .
P.S-
They are typified, objectified, stereotyped and suppressed in most cultures around the world. Women's suffrage in the modern world was granted earliest in 1881 and is yet to be granted in extremist countries like Saudi Arabia and Vatican City.
Who shall we put the blame upon?
Man? The misogynistic, chauvinistic and hypocritical prude? After all, it is he who is responsible for disgracing the very gender that gives him life. He who rapes and abuses her.
As easy as it is to put the blame on the big bad wolf, blame games seldom help in bringing about a change. Gandhi preached standing up against injustice, to allow oneself to be oppressed is a greater crime than oppression itself. It's easy to be a victim of society's brutality and atrocity. Courage however is needed to break free. Men need to be sensitized; more importantly though the women need to stand up, raise their voice and hold their ground.
Having said that, Woman having been beaten black and blue, physically as well as emotionally, reflect these very colours on their metaphoric palette. Men can change this, by painting vibrant hues of vermilion, yellows, and pinks on their canvases.
Charity begins at home . My experiences have shown me , that we as individuals are big time hypocrites when it comes to bringing about a change in practice. All parents are liberal about LGBT rights , issues etc but if their daughter/son announces that she/he is Queer , then suddenly , it becomes a crime , all liberalness disappears . Same with the issues concerning women , put one step out of line , and there goes the “Gender Equality”. Argue and be silenced by a slap! Why is the “line of control “ drawn a few inches closer for women than for men?
The following incident, hopefully, shows some light on this very issue. A friend of mine who happens to be the son of an IAS Officer witnessed the scene of a man beating his wife black and blue ( an Indian Foreign Services officer at that). Moreover his poor mother , in an attempt to protect her daughter-in-law, was pushed and thrown on the floor. My friend, called me later that day to narrate the incident as he saw it , I asked him to do a simple thing - ring the bell ( ghanti bajao ). And yes , the next day , when a similar thing happened , it worked . The bell stopped the violence. And even though it was I who suggested ringing a bell at the time, I don’t consider it as a permanent or the best solution .
Ringing the bell made the man aware of people listening and watching him commit these acts. It didn’t make him realise that the acts are wrong , only that society is watching him, judging him.
So what do we do? How do we protect women?
The question “how do we protect women ?” is the bigger problem .
A better question, wherein lies the answer is, “How do women protect themselves ? “
Women need to be empowered. In every way , only then can they stand up for themselves . Unless you respect yourself , you cannot expect others to respect you .
As far as urban areas go , an attitude and the right body language can speak volumes. Women , especially working women capable of supporting themselves , need to let their men know. “Respect me as much as I respect you or simply FORGET IT”.
As far as rural women go , financial support is an issue , not because they don’t work , but because they don’t respect themselves enough to consider their work -labour- as work .
Moreover, a mafia of sorts can work wonders , women looking out for each other . No matter how bad the conditions in rural India , a large group ( like Bollywood dances ) works wonders . Urban societies can have a similar arrangement .
One of the major obstacles in the working of such a group is not its effectiveness or formation. The problem is that most women hold their personal and family lives very close to their heart , and would rather suffer than speak out about domestic violence (brining us back to the need for self-respect) .
To arm oneself is equally important. Kick-boxing , karate , kung-fu, pepper sprays are essential not only to protect oneself from domestic violence, but also from dangerous strangers/stalkers/attackers etc .
A rolling pin ( “belan” ) is more than sufficient to disfigure a man’s features, facial and otherwise( other utensils work the same ) .
The solution , is not in the weapon, but in the attitude .
Just like with paintings , there are plenty of tools. I work with one , another works with the other. What matters is the expression. The song sung by a baritone or a nightingale is sweet, when the melody strikes a chord :P , when the words make sense .
P.S-
This Blog is part of the Men Say No Blogathon, encouraging men to take up action against the violence faced by women.
More entries to the Blogathon can be read at www.mustbol.in/blogathon. Join further conversation on facebook.com/delhiyouth & t
P.P.S-The painting below is symbolic of many things , but it is also symbolic of the condition of women today , their lives , their troubles . There is darkness , pitch darkness in crevices ,corners , doors and windows where injustice breeds , where screams are silenced and the bruised are bruised again .
At the same time there is light , so much light .If only this light could enter those corners all such acts would end and give way to a better society . How this light shall enter ? . Well its not a difficult answer to come up with . ( especially if you have read the post above ;) )
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