Document your mistakes, Set yourself free

Documenting your mistakes is probably more important than framing your achievments and hanging them on a wall . Our regrets and mistakes are embedded in our heart , and just as I have said it time and again , your experiences and the voice of your heart our the most accurate resources to become a better happier person .  Since regrets and mistakes are housed by our heart it is only right that we go back to them , not to feel pain , but to learn from them . One should not forget harsh / hard times - Let me rephrase . One should not forget the lessons learnt from hard times , remembering the pain is fool's choice .
I have been reading , analysing and noticing a patten in my actions . Even as the pattern is intact , it is collapsing , the vicious cycle of careless thoughtless mistakes is breaking . Four days of "nonsense" is replaced by three days of "silliness" , soon it will become four days of "Optimal Usage" .
And so I suggest to all , give up your egos , learn from your follies , become a better person .
Shine Shine
Come , let's talk to the divine
Let that sun shine ,
let the moon whisper into your ears catch you unawares
Bask in the warmth ,
Bask in their mystery ,
Willful endeavors aren't easy to take on
but that's the fun of it you horny little fellow ;)

TO Be or NOT to Be

This article is dedicated to every Engineer who ever thought or still thinks of another artistic career that will some how cross paths on the road to  the engineering degree or perhaps if not that ,then en-route the post grad one . Since I am pretty fresh from my 1st semester , I do not have sufficient experience to claim or declaim the promises of competitions that supposedly keep our artistic passions alive irrespective I am definite,  that even if there were such competitions , the regret of not having been able to become  a novelist , artist or sculptor etc does not fade away by competing in contests . But then again , what to choose? stability or passion ? It all comes to -which road are you willing to take - the one less traveled by or the one that has ,on it faded footsteps of known-unknown alike .Engineers are problem solvers and so a sense of practicality and logic is inherent in most of their decisions , but what happens when this practicality is fused together with the eccentricity of an artist . The combination can turn out to be at once disastrous and spectacular depending on the way you view it . I am of the belief that one can have the best of both worlds , you can be at once an engineer and a novelist ( or the like )  , all it requires is perseverance , dedication  and passion .As with every failure , we blame ours on destiny , or perhaps will of God but that is simply stating - cowardice , if you couldn't succeed in  making the two things work together , then blame yourself and know that- maybe you never  were as dedicated as the next guy .Situations do play an important role , but situations do not  make your life , you make your life by acting in the right or wrong way in such situations . As hard as all of this sounds , it isn't , for there are innumerous examples , personalities and lives that can inspire and motivate us every day . For instance “Arundhati Roy” - author of acclaimed novel "God of small things" is also an architect , “Chetan Bhagat” is not only an author but also a consultant/engineer , “Karan Bajaj “- author of "Johnny Gone Down" is also part of this group ,”Heddy Larner” was a  Hollywood actress who made significant contributions to engineering , there are many fashion designer that were initially doctors, engineer turned models etc  . Just look in the right places and you will find your own personal flame of hope , warming  and inspiring you  always . I hope all of you get to this destination and figure out whether " To be or Not to be”.

Sometimes you hate yourself and cannot explain it

Sometimes you  hate yourself and cannot explain it. Its not always because of some fault of yours , a quality or the lack of it that causes it . Its just that you don't like yourself and nothing can change that feeling in that moment. Such a feeling is never felt by ordinary people , its rather a trait seen  in confident and talented ones . People like us seem very strong on the outside (Well! we are quite strong to be able to exude such confidence ) but we do have drastic mood swings as well . Sadness for instance is never ordinary , when  it comes,  it hits us like a wave . Hate is a very strong emotion ,  you cannot hate just any person , just as you don't love just any person   .But when you do hate a person , its the blackest , darkest feeling  in the world , its something that you hope you never experience again . Just imagine , what it would feel like , when you hate yourself .You look in every mirror that  you come across , asking yourself ,is this what you have become ? is this the same person that you wanted to become ?Its not some whim , where you  want to change everything about yourself ( its not about make overs ) rather its the frustration of not being able to change things, decisions and situations .Today , was a day that was at once eventful and uneventful . while nothing significant happened in the real world , it was my mind that was troubled , On a more positive note when you are done with hating yourself , you are able to view yourself with a clear head . You can better assess yourself and encourage yourself to do better , to make amends , and become the person you wanted to be with a more practical perspective in mind .In the end , I feel it was necessary for me to hate myself even if for a day . For it helped me better understand myself as a person and that's that :)
P.S - Please donot read it if you have a weak heart lol :)

The Reluctant Fundamentalist - Mohsin Hamid

As I began reading the novel it struck me as light heartened , little did I know that the mere 184 pages had the depth of an ocean ,covering emotions that had only  been grazed over the surface before .  The  lyrical and practical style of the author impressed me a lot. 

This is a story about the inner struggle that a man goes through when he finds himself in a situation ,where he does not know who he is , where , his origin only complicates matters 

On a more straight forward note , this  novel is a narrative , the narrator being  "Changez" . Changez is born and brought up in a Pakistani elite family and goes on to study at Princeton . His personality and qualifications get him a job in a top of the notch service sector enterprise "Underwood Samson". A very diluted presence of love hangs all along , the love by the name of "Erica" . It is saddening that the beauty of this love is felt briefly while the loss of it ( which does happen in due course) is  presence that hangs around forever. Someone once said that when thunder falls , it befalls with all the might of the Gods . A similar situation occurs in Changez's Life A series of events- the 9/11 ,A terrorist attack on India's parliament & breaking down of Erica sucks the fundamentalist out of him  

MY PERSONAL COMMENTS

Changez is the prefect example of an eastern man who embraced A western world , A western woman and A western way of life .... All of which disappointed him.

The novel is so written that it leaves space for a lot of argument and interpretation , it does not force the view of Changez on you neither does it compel you to have a view , it simply states , how the man felt and what were his experiences .

For instance it does make one wonder on the symbolism of the actions of America post 9/11 . The book says and I quote " Your( American ) country's flag invaded new york after the attacks , it was everywhere . Small flags stuck on toothpicks featured in the shrines .They all seemed to proclaim: We are America - Not New York, which in my opinion , means something quite different - the mightiest civilization the world has ever known ; you have slighted us ; beware of our wrath "  

We find Changez in an identity crises more than once , something that many Asians living abroad can relate to . When he visits his home in Pakistan , his repulsion towards his very own "elite" house ( full with cracked paint , and leaking pipes ) makes him realize his dominantly American perspective of life .

This story also highlights the concept of fundamentalism in great depth . If only Changez had stuck to his fundamental principles he would have lived a better life .

Last but simply not the least this novel also encompasses a tender love story , one that does break your heart 

All in all a beautiful novel ,my   rating 4 on 5

Even Sadness can sing

A painting I made that inspired me to write this poem

 When the sky isn't blue enough
The air suffocates you
This sadness is not something to weep over
For when has anyone ever wept over emptiness
What is this void , tell me more
It makes me crazy , saddened to all folks
They ask me , what is the matter
But all I do is nod and say
Just let me be , just let me be , I pray
Oh! what beauty ,
oh! what light Its alas! all so very bright
But ask me and I would nod
Ask I from myself and I would avoid
For sometimes there are secrets that no confidant can share
Secrets that make you weep and make you glare
But uff!! just let it be
Who is gonna hear my appeal
For no sad man can ever appeal
All he can do is pray
But pray he must
Pray he must
Else even his loneliness is going to leave him lonesome
Grieved ,aghast and gloom-some.