Enough tears shed- Fight Violence, in your own way .

Women have been my muse for several of my works, these very women have suffered injustice over the ages. I have expressed my views on ways in which justice may be brought about.

They are typified, objectified, stereotyped and suppressed  in most cultures around the world. Women's suffrage in the modern world was granted earliest in 1881 and is yet to be granted in extremist countries like Saudi Arabia and Vatican City.
Who shall we put the blame upon?
Man? The misogynistic, chauvinistic and  hypocritical prude? After all, it is he who is responsible for disgracing the very gender that gives him life. He who rapes and abuses her.
As easy as it is to put the blame on the big bad wolf, blame games seldom help in bringing about a change. Gandhi preached standing up against injustice, to allow oneself to be oppressed is a greater crime than oppression itself. It's easy to be a victim of society's brutality and atrocity. Courage however is needed to break free. Men need to be sensitized; more importantly though the women need to stand up, raise their voice and hold their ground.

Having said that, Woman having been beaten black and blue, physically as well as emotionally, reflect these very colours on their metaphoric palette. Men can change this, by painting vibrant hues of vermilion, yellows, and pinks on their canvases.

Charity begins at home . My experiences have shown me , that we as individuals are big time hypocrites when it comes to bringing about a change in practice. All parents are liberal about LGBT rights , issues etc but if their daughter/son announces that she/he is Queer , then suddenly , it becomes a crime , all liberalness disappears . Same with the issues concerning women , put one step out of line , and there goes the “Gender Equality”. Argue and be silenced by a slap! Why is the “line of control “ drawn a few inches closer for women than for men?
The following incident, hopefully, shows some light on this very issue.  A friend of mine who happens to be the son of an IAS Officer  witnessed  the scene of a man beating his wife black and blue  ( an Indian Foreign Services officer at that). Moreover his poor mother , in an attempt to protect her daughter-in-law, was pushed and thrown on  the floor.  My friend, called me later that day to narrate the incident as he saw it , I asked him to do a simple thing - ring the bell ( ghanti bajao ). And  yes ,  the next day , when a similar thing happened , it worked . The bell stopped the violence. And even though  it was I who suggested ringing a bell at the time,  I don’t consider  it as a permanent or the best solution .
Ringing the bell  made the man aware of people listening and watching him commit these acts. It didn’t make him realise that the acts are wrong , only that society is watching him, judging him.
So what do we do? How do we protect women?

The question “how do we protect women ?” is the bigger  problem .
A better question, wherein lies the answer is, “How do women protect themselves ? “
Women need to be empowered. In every way , only then can they stand up for themselves . Unless you respect yourself , you cannot expect others to respect you .
As far as urban areas go , an attitude  and  the right body language can speak volumes. Women , especially working women capable of supporting themselves , need to let their men know. “Respect me as much as I respect you or simply FORGET IT”.
As far as rural women go , financial support is an issue , not because they don’t work , but because they don’t respect themselves enough to consider their work -labour- as work .
Moreover, a mafia of sorts can work wonders , women looking out for each other . No matter how bad the conditions in rural India , a large group ( like Bollywood dances ) works wonders . Urban societies can have a similar arrangement .
One of the major obstacles in the working of  such a group is not its effectiveness or  formation. The problem is that most women hold their personal and family lives very close to their heart , and would rather suffer than speak out about  domestic violence (brining us back to the need  for self-respect) .
To arm oneself is equally important. Kick-boxing , karate , kung-fu, pepper sprays are essential not only to protect oneself from domestic violence, but also from dangerous strangers/stalkers/attackers etc .
A rolling pin ( “belan” ) is more than sufficient to disfigure a man’s features, facial and otherwise( other utensils work the same ) .
The solution , is not in the weapon, but in the attitude .
Just like with paintings , there are plenty of tools. I work with one , another works with the other. What matters is the expression. The song sung by a baritone or a nightingale is sweet, when the melody strikes a chord :P , when the words make sense .

P.S-

This Blog is part of the Men Say No Blogathon, encouraging men to take up action against the violence faced by women. 

More entries to the Blogathon can be read at www.mustbol.in/blogathon. Join further conversation on facebook.com/delhiyouth & twitter.com/mustbol

P.P.S-The painting below is symbolic of many things , but it is also symbolic of the condition of women today , their lives , their troubles . There is darkness , pitch darkness in crevices ,corners , doors and windows  where injustice breeds , where screams are silenced and the bruised are bruised again . 

 At the same time there is light , so much light .If only this light could enter those corners all such acts would end and give way to a better society . How this light shall enter ? . Well its  not a difficult answer to come up with .  ( especially if you have read the post above ;) ) 

JohnnY Gone Down by Karan Bajaj

Summary

Nikhil Arya falls into destiny's trap . Is he prepared ? Well he will have to find out that for himself . Nikil an MIT student goes on a trip to Cambodia , the trip does'nt go good unless you call being amputated "good" or living in a basement surrounded by your excrement and the smell of a dead-friend's corpse as "good" . He somehow escapes and founds himself in a Buddhist Monastery . And so his life turns and twist from one tale to another .

On and on , it takes Nikhil aka Buddha aka Nick aka Donos aka Sahib to Cambodia-Brazil-Silicon Valley and finally India . 

Review

I have been wanting to read the book since the first time is saw it on the  "Crossword" shelves , also it was suggested to me by a Dial-a-book service employee .Moving on 

The book is a light read despite the exotic locations , and dangerous circumstances in play .It is pretty entertaining specially  for all those Indians who have always wanted to see an Indian version of a guy who does not loose his nerve in a problematic situation . I would have said the Indian James Bond , but since all of you readers are past cliche's I wouldn't want to use one ,specially when its all wrong .Nikhil is not some special agent , he is a simple guy who touches people's lives in a way which is not what you call usual or temporary .

All throughout he is setting the perfect example of a man who never gives up 

I love everything about the book other than this one thing , Nikhil is just too intelligent , too physically perfect (other than that left arm ) , emotionally stable and creative . Call me jealous , but other than  Sidney Sheldon characters there are few who master such "perfection" cause even those characters can never attain modesty that he possesses .

The book is more of an NRI clan , there is little Indian about him  other than his background .

That however is not a flaw , since the author has proved the point, that, you dont have to add unnecessary decorations to make the protagonist more Indian .The entire book is about how everyone , everywhere has similar capabilities and  qualities .A foreigner of a friend willing to give his life for you is better than the school buddy whose name you don't remember at the school re-union . 

I found few similarities between me and the protagonist , me and the author and  the protagonist and the author.

I wonder which pusa road school he has studied at , because if its the same as mine , another similarity will be added to the list :p

Mr Karan Bajaj

The author seems very modest ,and can even be contacted on his email email@karanbajaj.com 

Well I am not that bad myself , so if you need me just comment and I will be all ears for you . 

Sometimes you hate yourself and cannot explain it

Sometimes you  hate yourself and cannot explain it. Its not always because of some fault of yours , a quality or the lack of it that causes it . Its just that you don't like yourself and nothing can change that feeling in that moment. Such a feeling is never felt by ordinary people , its rather a trait seen  in confident and talented ones . People like us seem very strong on the outside (Well! we are quite strong to be able to exude such confidence ) but we do have drastic mood swings as well . Sadness for instance is never ordinary , when  it comes,  it hits us like a wave . Hate is a very strong emotion ,  you cannot hate just any person , just as you don't love just any person   .But when you do hate a person , its the blackest , darkest feeling  in the world , its something that you hope you never experience again . Just imagine , what it would feel like , when you hate yourself .You look in every mirror that  you come across , asking yourself ,is this what you have become ? is this the same person that you wanted to become ?Its not some whim , where you  want to change everything about yourself ( its not about make overs ) rather its the frustration of not being able to change things, decisions and situations .Today , was a day that was at once eventful and uneventful . while nothing significant happened in the real world , it was my mind that was troubled , On a more positive note when you are done with hating yourself , you are able to view yourself with a clear head . You can better assess yourself and encourage yourself to do better , to make amends , and become the person you wanted to be with a more practical perspective in mind .In the end , I feel it was necessary for me to hate myself even if for a day . For it helped me better understand myself as a person and that's that :)
P.S - Please donot read it if you have a weak heart lol :)

The Reluctant Fundamentalist - Mohsin Hamid

As I began reading the novel it struck me as light heartened , little did I know that the mere 184 pages had the depth of an ocean ,covering emotions that had only  been grazed over the surface before .  The  lyrical and practical style of the author impressed me a lot. 

This is a story about the inner struggle that a man goes through when he finds himself in a situation ,where he does not know who he is , where , his origin only complicates matters 

On a more straight forward note , this  novel is a narrative , the narrator being  "Changez" . Changez is born and brought up in a Pakistani elite family and goes on to study at Princeton . His personality and qualifications get him a job in a top of the notch service sector enterprise "Underwood Samson". A very diluted presence of love hangs all along , the love by the name of "Erica" . It is saddening that the beauty of this love is felt briefly while the loss of it ( which does happen in due course) is  presence that hangs around forever. Someone once said that when thunder falls , it befalls with all the might of the Gods . A similar situation occurs in Changez's Life A series of events- the 9/11 ,A terrorist attack on India's parliament & breaking down of Erica sucks the fundamentalist out of him  

MY PERSONAL COMMENTS

Changez is the prefect example of an eastern man who embraced A western world , A western woman and A western way of life .... All of which disappointed him.

The novel is so written that it leaves space for a lot of argument and interpretation , it does not force the view of Changez on you neither does it compel you to have a view , it simply states , how the man felt and what were his experiences .

For instance it does make one wonder on the symbolism of the actions of America post 9/11 . The book says and I quote " Your( American ) country's flag invaded new york after the attacks , it was everywhere . Small flags stuck on toothpicks featured in the shrines .They all seemed to proclaim: We are America - Not New York, which in my opinion , means something quite different - the mightiest civilization the world has ever known ; you have slighted us ; beware of our wrath "  

We find Changez in an identity crises more than once , something that many Asians living abroad can relate to . When he visits his home in Pakistan , his repulsion towards his very own "elite" house ( full with cracked paint , and leaking pipes ) makes him realize his dominantly American perspective of life .

This story also highlights the concept of fundamentalism in great depth . If only Changez had stuck to his fundamental principles he would have lived a better life .

Last but simply not the least this novel also encompasses a tender love story , one that does break your heart 

All in all a beautiful novel ,my   rating 4 on 5

Not a Penny More , Not a Penny Less by Jeffery Archer

Jeffery Archer

Having read almost all of Jeffery archer's novels , to read his first ever novel "Not a Penny More Not a Penny Less "was a pleasant surprise . This novel  is an example of how every author starts somewhere . The novel is exciting ,informative , and almost captivating ,  filled with knowledge about artists ( Vincent Van Gogh -his favorite as always ) , culture , tradition , and booze .Harvey Metcalfe , a American of polish descent , is an intelligent man , well-versed in all the traits of business , better than any Harvard degree holder , and yet without any formal education. He robs four young men , an American professor Dr. Stephen Bradley , a Viscount by the name of James , A doctor -Robert Oakley , and a Frenchman/art dealer Jean-Pierre ,  with the help of a young , naive man by the name of David ( incidentally a Harvard degree holder ) .The book is thus tells us how  these four gentleman from different back ground come together to get there money back but not with vengeance , rather with a plan to get back there money as it was taken , not a penny more , not a penny less. Like all his book almost everyone is from some prestigious institution . Harvard , Oxford , and Cambridge seem to be at a stone's throw for everyone to grasp . The style is not the same as you might find in his later books ( As the crow flies , Kane and Abel etc) . Unlike those books , this one is not about a specific person , and covers a detailed span of about 6 months as opposed to a whole lifetime as  in "As the crow flies " and "Kane and Abel ". We find that the author is reverting back to this style in his latest books , "Paths of glory" and "Matter of honor" . I sincerely hope for the sake of all readers that the author reverts back to the style of "Kane and Abel " rather than giving us examples of his "diversity" by producing books as impersonal and crass as "Paths of Glory" and "Prison Diaries" . I personally find the author very talented and an almost-genius , seeing as he is knowledgeable in many disciplines , be it Art , Tradition , People , Emotions or stock exchange not to mention Politics . event though this is not the epitome of his genius yet , this book make you feel happy , urges you to do more in life , to grab all opportunity ,and tells you that no matter who you are and where you're from , nothing is impossible if you have the will and right people around you , to not just guide you but also to offer a glance- " I am here for you " .The book is a good read , but not an urgent one unlike "Kane and Abel". As an artist , I always find myself happy reading the bits about artists and there work . The book is said to be based on Archer's personal life. Jeffery Archer is an author of logical brilliance , all my readers , if you are fans of suspense , or would like to read about lives of interesting characters ( who in most cases grow from scratch ) read Jeffery archer , be it "KAne and Abel"  , "As the crow flies" , "The Prodigal Daughter" or ""The prisoner of birth " .All of these books will keep you up all night , wanting to know more about the characters , yet as the book ends , you will feel satisfied and in love with the characters . So go on take a J.A from a library , or buy it and cherish it all your life . IF you people want me to tell more about the books I have mentioned please post comments , I would be glad to comply to you wishes ,,, This is me signing of

Have A good Day

 Despite being a big fan of jeffery Archer my rating on this book - 3.5 out of 5

On The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender

I am going to soon attend a book club discussion on the book " The particular sadness of a lemon cake " by " Aimee Bender " on November the 23rd or 26th at the American Library at the American Center . The book deals with a girl who has a "talented tongue" . She can taste food and tell all the emotions that the cook or the baker had while making the item . As she grows up she begins to get to know of the emotions in an even more objective way , making all clearer and clearer . She discovers the sadness , anxieties and insecurities of her family and friends . Now had I not read "The Hobbit" the very day i started reading this book or had i not re-read the "Lord of the Rings - Trilogy " by the great J.R.R Tolkien the very week , I would have called it if not a splendid but the very least a good work , but alas that is not to be . It angered me very much and brought on all the thoughts of diminishing readership and poor authors . If truth be told there have always been a small population of readers ,but in the light of new technology , less funding for libraries , high prices and monetizing of book stores so much , the readership falls , and if as is the scenario the authors are less skilled what is a guy gotta do but throw tomatoes in her/his face . If it was not for the movie The Lord of the Rings would have been forgotten , for the first part "the hobbit" was first published in 1937 . C.S Lewis somehow survived . But unless something be done , the age of the next Indians will do be far from book lovers . Me thinks that some authors are smart , but to really write a splendid book , requires genius . As sorry as I am to say this Aimee Bender is a "smart" author and far from "genius" .In other circumstance "smart" would be a compliment , but not in this case for smart here is the smartness of a fox . For a "smart" author takes a small idea of a genius , and makes it into a whole novel . The whole idea about a tongue telling emotions is so mediocre imaginatively , it is boring and hardly imaginative , its some long lost idea , not discovered , but most probably copied in a disgusting fashion . The small fantasy point in The Lord Of the rings in which a sword named sting glows when orcs are around is more interestingly imaginative . Now , now I am sure some reader would say that she should be credited for merging fantasy and realistic emotions . That would be just had it been the time snow white was published , however in the age where Harry Potter series exists , it is a feeble attempt to say the least . In the age where J.K Rowling has cast a novel so beautiful , a novel that makes us believe that there can exist a wizard world , for it all seems almost scientific , normal people with a gift , a gift with rules too and of utmost importance the realism of the characters , their emotions , their feelings all comes alive as we pass through the pages . You can relate to all of them , Harry - afraid yet courageous , Hermione - Insecure of her own over bustling confidence , Ron - one to be removed from his zone of comfort , Dumbledore - Knows that wise cannot be powerful , and snape - a character moving in between love and betrayal . If I must say their are few similarities between The Harry potter series and the lord of the rings trilogy . Both Harry and Frodo are set tasks that makes them seem both afraid and courageous , both their sires James Potter and Bilbo Baggines have been on adventures too small than their young yet adventures all the same . Dumbledore and Gandalf are both aware that the wise are always powerful , their wisdom is their power , and if they are given power they along with the world would be destroyed . If I might be bold enough to say , the idea of a horcrux is very similar to the ring , both as we see the ring and the horcrux try to tempt the bearer into dreadfully deadly deeds , and are of similar concept , made to keep their masters alive , for as long as possible , J.K Rowling may have made some concept about they being trophies , but all the same the idea is very very similar . Well in the midst of all this we have forgotten Aimee altogether , it would be suffice to say that she needs to find the genius in herself, for she has potential

 

                                       Inspired by the great author are these two talented authors one who is already great and one who I hope will achieve greatness by adopting more honest ways